Let me just begin by saying that I’m angry most days; however since coming to Monroe Harding I’m beginning to learn coping skills to channel that energy into something positive. Everywhere I go, and I do mean everywhere, people tell me how talented I am. Yes, I am an outstanding athlete. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not cocky about it. Let’s just say, I recognize and am grateful for my God-given talents.
The things that constantly frustrates me are:
1) I do not have a place to call home.
2) I have family members but none that are willing to support or show concern for me because of their own dependency issues.
3) I’m getting older, and the chance for permanency is not looking too bright.
It’s really hard for me to accept responsibility for my current circumstances. I have displayed a lot of disruptive behaviors in my past, because it’s difficult to accept love and support from strangers that say they want to help me. I’ve learned to hurt others before they hurt me, and this is where it got me. To a point, where I am now having to learn to become more independent. Sports is my way of releasing all of my pent up emotions. I just wish my family would be able to come see me showcase my skills. I’m hoping and praying daily to stay strong enough to maintain so I can engage in high school athletics. If anyone hears me, say a prayer and come watch me represent Monroe on HHS football and basketball team. That’s what I’m hoping, only if I can maintain……
Stay focused and you will accomplish great things. Even those of us who had a “permanent situation” growing up that looked good from the outside looking in, dealt with an alcoholic parent, abuse, and being kicked out of the house at age 17 — and to the outside world none of that was visible.
Without a college degree (I don’t recommend trying that now), attending college at night, I moved on, supported myself, worked hard, and by being dependable and making results happen for my employer ultimately was promoted to senior vice president at a large corporation. I married a wonderful man (who taught me how to love someone for the first time ever). Growing up in a household where everything was always “conditional” and that was ruled with fear, I didn’t know what love was.
I share that only to tell you that the only person who can control how your life plays out is YOU. Many people have to overcome obstacles, and I know you realize you can overcome them and do great things. Stay focused. Stay out of trouble. Let people help you. People will let you down — we all have people who let us down. But, let people sincerely know that you appreciate whatever little bit of help they give you, and you may be surprised that they may then help even more.
It is not easy, but great things can come to you in life and you will be one of the lucky ones who will actually appreciate the gerat things when they come. So many people with blessed situations….money or a loving family….are blind to their blessings. As you go about life, I am sure you will not be blind to the good things that happen to you. Relish in them, enjoy them, and above all, make good long-term decisions and be good to other people.