When you google State Custody Youth Tennessee, the first thing that pops up is the Tennessee Commission on Children and Youth. This is an independent state agency charged with advocating for and improving the quality of life for TN children and families. There is a lot of information to be found here and you can see how many people are working hard to make the system right for youth. I found one study particularly interesting.
It compared the needs of youth who are referred through juvenile justice to those who had abuse/neglect referrals. We get questioned a lot about where our kids come from. What this is saying is that it doesn’t really matter, when they are in state custody their overall backgrounds are very similar and their needs are nearly identical. Give it a read, I think you’ll find some ‘fun facts’ and maybe some that are a little disturbing.
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Let me just begin by saying that I’m angry most days; however since coming to Monroe Harding I’m beginning to learn coping skills to channel that energy into something positive. Everywhere I go, and I do mean everywhere, people tell me how talented I am. Yes, I am an outstanding athlete. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not cocky about it. Let’s just say, I recognize and am grateful for my God-given talents.
The things that constantly frustrates me are:
1) I do not have a place to call home.
2) I have family members but none that are willing to support or show concern for me because of their own dependency issues.
3) I’m getting older, and the chance for permanency is not looking too bright.
It’s really hard for me to accept responsibility for my current circumstances. I have displayed a lot of disruptive behaviors in my past, because it’s difficult to accept love and support from strangers that say they want to help me. I’ve learned to hurt others before they hurt me, and this is where it got me. To a point, where I am now having to learn to become more independent. Sports is my way of releasing all of my pent up emotions. I just wish my family would be able to come see me showcase my skills. I’m hoping and praying daily to stay strong enough to maintain so I can engage in high school athletics. If anyone hears me, say a prayer and come watch me represent Monroe on HHS football and basketball team. That’s what I’m hoping, only if I can maintain……
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Not Having Much Fun
OK, I have to admit, I’m not having a lot of fun writing this blog. Did I mention in the beginning that I nearly failed 7th Grade English because I had to keep a journal? Well, I should’ve. Writing what’s on my mind and hoping that you’ll find it interesting is a HUGE challenge for me. And getting NO feedback makes it tough. At least my 7th Grade English teacher wrote “give more feelings” on each page at the end of the week.
Tough Shell
You’re not going to hurt my feelings. Tell me what you want. Tell me who you want, that way I can convince them to take over for me. Or tell me to just put a topic out there and you guys do all the writing through your responses. I’m not doing this for me, I want this site to be the best it can be and I want you to get what you want out of it.
With that being said, I do want responses to the previous post. Really, what do you say when people ask what MH is?
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Tell us what you think
Now’s the time to get interactive. We want to know what you think. How would you describe Monroe Harding? In your response, feel free to include who you are - former resident, current participant, volunteer, board member, staff, etc. Try to make it 2 - 3 short sentences, max.
Imagine someone asked you where you worked or volunteered or lived. Your answer would be Monroe Harding and then they’d say, “well what’s Monroe Harding?” What would you say?
You can’t have a wrong answer here. Well, actually you can - don’t say its a children’s hospital or school. But, for the most part we just want to know what people are saying about Monroe Harding.
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End of Summer
When I was a kid, it seemed like summer lasted forever. We got kind of bored shortly after the 4th of July. We’d seen every movie that we were allowed to see and our swim suits had faded to nearly white by being at the pool 5 hours each day. There were no more holidays to look forward to and vacations were done.
Now it seems like the summer just flies by. This could be partly because of retail marketing. Maybe its not quite time to have out Halloween costumes and some people may still want to buy shorts. But surprisingly, the retailers are right on the mark with their Back To School campaigns. The ‘balanced calendar’ kids have been back in school for two weeks. The traditional school year will be starting in about two weeks. It really is time to buy your new backpacks and jeans. And thankfully in TN we can do that tax free this weekend.
Sending 35 Teens BTS
Right now we have about 35 young men who live with us in the residential program. They have a lot of needs at this time of year. Of course they will need their backpacks and school supplies also. But they don’t need jeans. With the Metro schools dress code, the guys need khaki pants. They also need polo shirts in Hillsboro High’s green or gold! Five days worth of green polo shirts for 35 guys - that’s a lot of green.
Academically Speaking
Its also time to think about tutoring. Each person who volunteers to work directly with our young people has to go through a background check and orientation training. You can become a tutor anytime during the year, but to get started at the beginning of the school year, now’s the time to get the ball rolling. If you think you can tutor, you can. You do not need to know AP Calculus or 4th year Spanish. Most of the students are not at that level of education but even if they are, your commitment to sitting with them for an hour and encouraging them to study and practice is what’s most important.
Making it easy
If you want to donate or volunteer, click here to contact Lindsay Kear. She’s our volunteer coordinator and is also in charge of donated items so she can help with both. Get involved!
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Average Age of Independence
Yesterday I mentioned that 1200 young people are aging out of care in TN each year and that Monroe Harding works hard to make them ready for this transition. Don’t read ahead, take a minute to guess - what is the average age of independence in the United States? I know if you see a number your eyes will skip right to it, so take a second to actually guess. Do you think its 18, maybe its 16. How about 21 or 22. 23 and 24 are right after college and you’ve had time to get a job, right? Well in reality, the average age of independence in the US is 26. Does that sound about right to you? Don’t you know some 30 year olds that are just finally making it on their own? And, of course, some 22 year olds who can do it all? That’s how we get an average.
What can we expect of an 18 year old?
There should still be high expectations of 18 year olds. Many are out there fighting for our freedom, many are raising families, going to school, living alone. We should expect them to respect their elders, talk politely (especially in public), be courteous, accept that others are different than them. We should expect them to still be learning, but they should still be learning. For all the 18 year olds out there, remember that you don’t know everything, be willing to learn. And for all the 40 year olds out there, really the same is true. But also remember to give others a little room for failure and be sure to be there for them when they do fail.
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1200 Youth Age out each year
There are approximately 1,200 youth in Tennessee who “age out” of the foster care system each year. Last year, in the middle Tennessee regions alone a total of 763 children age 17 were in foster care. Can you imagine life completely on your own at age 18?
What do you still need at age 18?
If you’re older than 18, think back. If you’re younger, just imagine…If you got a flat tire, who did you call? Did you know how to sort the whites from reds before it was too late? Did you know what it would really cost you to charge something on a credit card and pay for it 6 months later? Did you shop for your first car? Did you do it by yourself? Did you sleep in a bed in your parents house, in a dorm room, or on your friend’s couch?
A support system
Some kids in state custody have a great support system. Some have foster parents who stick with them once they’re emancipated. Some have aunts, uncles, grandparents, older siblings and even parents who help them out. But many are expected to truly be independent. They, like any other 18, 19, 20, 21 or even 22 year old (or 30, 40 or 50 year old) need a support system. They still need someone to call in an emergency or someone to teach them how to apply for student aid. Its a great thing for this city, and state, that Monroe Harding can help young people during this transitional time. If you don’t already know about Youth Connections, visit their website. There is a lost group of young people out there who still need caring people in their lives.
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As we get this blog thing rolling, I thought you might be at least a little bit interested in who is writing this. Well, I’m Melissa Houck, the Director of Fund Development here at Monroe Harding. From my title, you can probably guess that this blog might end up having a fund raising slant to it. I hope as a general rule that it doesn’t. Of course yes, you will hear all about our great events - what they are, when they’re coming up, how to register and then how they went.
What’s Included
Besides fund raising activities, you should find a lot more here. I plan to include stories about many of our youth. Not only our residents, but also those involved with Youth Connections after they age out of custody and even those in the Project SHARE program and the collaborative effort with other agencies.
You’ll hear about what is going on with our property and our building plans. I’ll post some facts and figures concerning the demographics that we work with. You’ll learn more about foster care and what’s happening in TN concerning young people. We’ll have guest bloggers including some youth, our CEO, other staff members and volunteers.
Some days, you might just find we want to talk about the weather or the traffic. But regardless of what we might want to write about, you can redirect us. Let us know what you want to see.
Have a great week.
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Starting a Blog
Officially this whole website is set up as a blog and we can easily post new information to each section at anytime. But it is used more as a simple website, so we thought we’d add a section that was officially for more traditional blogging.
New World Needs Your Help
The title of this post is “The New World of Blogging.” This world is not so new to millions of people. It is, however new to us. So, we may not be great at it. We may forget to do it occasionally or we may write about things no-one cares to read. I imagine this is how many blogs truly work though, so hopefully ours will not be too disappointing. You can write your comments here also. They will of course be reviewed before they go live! But please suggest things you’d like to hear about, or just let us know your thoughts about what has been written.
Check in often to keep us accountable for this! We hope you enjoy it and learn about Monroe Harding through this blog.
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